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Love songs are everywhere. But does anyone have a definition of love, which — people claim — makes the world go around? Sure, it’s easy to tell when you’re in love with someone. [The heart pounds and you act like an idiot.] But it’s much harder to say if you actually love someone.

Enter the mind of Harry Jenkins, as he is about to make love to Natasha,

And then he laughed at himself as he sank beneath the covers. No sane man would question such free and voluptuous pleasure, as if it could only be valued through thought. Only an idiot or a fool would try to analyze love and passion

Nonetheless, like the fool, I seek a definition. Perhaps it is the lawyer in me. On the subject of love, Carl Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist, is a sobering read. All of us, supposedly, carry within us, an animus [if you’re female] and an anima [if you’re male], which is the idealized image of the person you love. And so, when you are in love you are projecting this idealized image on a real, live person who might be naturally quite entitled to be different.

After the honeymoon, those annoying little cracks in the image appear, which could certainly explain the high divorce rate. When you find the real person doesn’t exactly match your superimposed ideal, what do you do?

All of these thoughts led me to explore people’s ideas of all kinds of love, not just the romantic variety, in Final Paradox, the second in The Osgoode Trilogy.

Harry Jenkins is the lawyer protagonist throughout the trilogy, which contain storylines of murder and fraud. He is in the thrall of the beautiful Natasha. His aging father, who abandoned him as a child, has just asked his forgiveness. Harry can’t seem to find that in his heart. Natasha asks him—

What do you think love is?
He shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s about wanting someone as part of your life. Wanting them always with you.” He looked into her eyes. “Why? What do you think?”

“I think it’s about getting outside yourself and seeing another person’s life from their point of view. At least that’s a start,” Natasha replied.

Harry heard his father’s words. It’s all about you, is it? Would he always be the kid, he wondered?

Another character musing about love is Norma Dinnick — an elderly client of Harry’s who trips back and forth between lucidity and madness. She recollects her stew of feelings for various men.

Going back to her hotel, Norma tried to understand. She knew about affection and caring for Arthur, her husband, who kept her safe from the emptiness. But she did not understand this business of love, which David talked about. She did know that such emotions gave her a sense of power. The sheer lust she experienced in the presence of George made her feel weak and vulnerable.

Norma simply doesn’t understand about love and neither does Bronwyn — another character. An embittered soul, she has married a gay man and on her honeymoon – She wandered the narrow beach of sand and stone where the boats ferried back and forth to the grottos. No Peter. But then she saw him at a distance on the beach walking slowly with a younger man she did not know. Where had they come from? Right from the start, she had known. Of course, the bargain was unspoken but well understood. For money and security, Bronwyn had sacrificed any chance for love.

But in the end, Harry does begin to get it. In bed with the lovely Natasha, he was

…transported outside his own body, he was overcome with the desire to know the dreams, fantasies, and mysteries she held within. He would enter her world with love and understanding and never leave. The awe he felt in her closeness made his breathing slow and deepen in rhythm with hers. He watched his hand reach out of the shadows to smooth the sheet. She was at last in his bed and, fearing a mirage, he dared not wake her. In the past two weeks, his world had been shaken. His mind had become a jumble of colliding, conflicting events and consequences. Now he felt her power to draw his life together. A still peace gently settled over him like a silken web of meaning.

Simple Habits For A Healthier Lifestyle Starting Today

Published on 03/01/2023
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You don’t have to make drastic changes to be healthier. Here are some simple habits worth making a daily routine.

Simple Habits For A Healthier Lifestyle Starting Today

Maintain Friendships

Why It’s Worth It: Research has shown that strong social bonds through friendship, family and community contribute significantly to our physical and mental well-being – while loneliness and social isolation are known risk factors for health problems. Studies have found that feeling lonely can increase your risk of stroke, heart disease, depression and dementia.

Pay Attention To Your Sleep Quality

Why It’s Worth It: The importance of our sleep can’t be underestimated. Between 6 and 9 hours of sleep per night is recommended. This allows our body and brain to regenerate and recover. Not only does restful sleep boost the immune system, but it also helps maintain a healthy weight, increases fertility, and promotes mental well-being. Poor sleep on a regular basis, on the other hand, increases the risk of diabetes, heart disease, cancer, obesity and depression.

Bring Movement Into Your Everyday Life

Why it’s worth it: There’s strong evidence that at least 2.5 hours of moderate exercise a week can help reduce your risk of heart disease and stroke. Physical activity has countless positive effects on our health – from maintaining a healthy body weight to better mental health to longer life expectancy. The challenge is to incorporate regular exercise into our daily routine. Start with 30 minutes: Just half an hour of moderate exercise a day can have a positive effect on your health. You should also avoid sitting too much. So try walking more, standing up for work, or just dancing to your favorite music.

Eat More Colorful Things

Why it’s worth it: In general, the more colorful the selection of food, the more nutritious the diet. So-called phytonutrients, which have an antioxidant and anti-inflammatory effect, ensure the variety of colors. It has long been known that the colorful Mediterranean cuisine, which is characterized by a high proportion of fruit and vegetables, nuts, whole grain products, fish and healthy fats (olive oil), is healthy. A study now proves that the “Mediterranean diet” ensures a longer life expectancy for over 65-year-olds. In countries with a Mediterranean diet, there are fewer cardiovascular diseases, high blood pressure and obesity.

Stay Curious

Why It’s Worth It: This habit isn’t easy to form, but it’s important. It’s about doing more of the things that make you feel valuable, that you belong, that you’re part of something. This not only makes you happier and more joie de vivre, but can also help reduce your risk of health problems such as stroke and depression. Make a list of all the activities that make you feel good or that you enjoy spending your time on. Mark the things that you want to prioritize more in your life.

The Integrative Buddhist Psychology to reduce the Violence Problem in Family in Suratthani Province

Authors

Abstract

This objectives of this research were: 1) to study and analyze the problems of family violence in Suratthani Province 2) to study and analyze the using Buddhist principles and Rogers’s counseling psychological discipline for integration to reduce the problem of family violence in Suratthani province. This research was conducted in the areas of Suratthani province using qualitative research methodology. The data were collected from 24 informants who were heads of family, never used violence in family using the In-depth-interview and from 9 participants using focus group discussion. Both data were analyzed and synthesized according to research’s objectives.

The results of this research found that

  1. the problems of family violence in Suratthani Province found that they were in 13 Districts, the kinds of family violence consisted of 1) body (hurt, died) 71.1 % 2) gender (rape, immoral conduct, gangbang) 13.1 % 3) mind (detain, look down, revile) 10.2 % ��� 4) other (neglect, abandon) 5.6 %, the causes of the problem of family violence in Suratthani province consisting of 1) infidelity 2) jealousness 3) drinking alcohol 4) Drug example amphetamine 5) economic problem and being out of work 6) body and mental health problem 7) borrowing money 8) restive habit 9) gamester. The violence in family that happened in Suratthani province affected to close person and society directly and indirectly, that is, 1) economic effect 2) social effect and 3) public health effect. To prevent and to solve the violence problem family in Surat thani province in past were done by itself family and by government sector that had responsibility about that problem directly.
  2. to use the Buddhist principles and Rogers’s counseling psychological discipline for integration to reduce problem of violence family in Suratthani found that the Buddhist principles for solving violence family in Suratthani province consisting of the Tree Admonitions or Exhortations of the Buddha or Buddha-ovada, the Noble Eightfold Path, four Brahmavihàra, four Gharavasa-dhamma, four Sangahavatthu and the Four Noble truths, but principles of counseling psychology according to Karl Roger’s concept for solving a violence in family in Surat thani Province consisted of three important basic concepts, that is, 1) to understand of human nature 2) to develop for balance of self and 3) true love of person who was a leader of family which generate from good relation between them. In using of Buddhist principles and Roger’s principle of counseling psychology, the person who was family leader had to persist in and follow in 2 principles, especially the use of logic and not to use of emotion, to be good modeling for family’s member and to give a time in doing various activities together with family and to counsel always when family’s member got various problems.